The Unforgiving Minute

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DAFFODILS

March 18, 2015

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OWEN'S EULOGY

I have an idea that when we die we live on in the hearts and minds and memories of those who loved and knew us. Wouldn't it be sad if when we died everyone we ever loved died with us? What a tragedy it would be if everything Owen ever did or said or taught was lost to the world. Our immortality lives in those who loved us and the memories they carry. This is the debt the living owe the dead. I look around the room and I can’t help but think; “Man, Owen would hate this”. Not because we were talking about him. Owen would love that we were talking about him. He would hate that we are hurting. Owen had so much empathy for other people. He’d be on full blown Owen overdrive running around trying to make us all feel better. Just a full-on firehose of love trying to soak us down and quell the pain of our loss. Owen had a way of drilling inside of you and getting to your heart. He was a helper in the truest sense of the word. I’m not surprised that in...

THE TEARS OF THINGS

Some time ago someone recognized the importance of impermanence, of the beauty and inevitability of change. The Japanese call it “mono no aware” (the ahh-ness of things) the Romans called it, “the tears of things” as if our very belongings could feel the melancholy of having been made from dust and the transience of their own creation. I’ve had a long time to consider the value of memory and the notion that just because something doesn’t last forever it’s value is not diminished. There is a certain attractiveness to impermanence - that there are some things so fleeting as to demand our attention then and there. As if forever could be crystallized in a moment and we would emerge from the moment and carry it with us throughout our life, perhaps gently saddened by it’s passing but almost certainly grateful. It is gratitude that sustains us and moves us forward to the next and the next moment. Life seldom gives us tidy endings or tidy middles for that matter, it only gives us grati...

IF I ONLY KNEW

If I knew then what I know now on that very first day I wouldn’t have waited to make you mine. I wouldn’t have wasted a second of our life together. I would have told you that the days were made for us to share. If I knew then what I know now I would have pressed my lips to your skin even though then I could not say that every - everything was only for you. What good are words if the cost is forfeit kisses? If I knew then what I know now I would have taken you in my arms and held you like a mother’s goodbye. I would have pressed my body to yours until we could not tell where one begins and the other ends. I would have lived my life in tangled sheets - never left to eat or drink. And when you were asleep I would have matched my breath to yours, my nourishment, my imperative, my cure. If I knew then what I know now I would have stopped the ticking clock whose every tick and tock conspired with i...

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