Convicted bread thief Wolverine,
makes parole and meets a clergyman who gives him enough startup capital that he
breaks parole and becomes a businessman and politician. Cat Woman works for Wolverine but she gets
fired. This makes her cry. She has a daughter who lives with hoteliers,
Borat and Bellatrix Lestrange. This
makes her cry. She pawns some jewelry,
goes to the dentist, gets a haircut and becomes a prostitute. All of which makes her cry. In an odd twist of fate Cat Woman again meets
Wolverine who promises to care for her daughter (this makes her cry) right
before she dies, apparently from dehydration.
Local suicidal gendarme, Gladiator
tries to arrest Wolverine for breaking parole but Wolverine gets away and then
buys Cat Woman’s daughter from Borat. Flash
forward several years and Wolverine is now older and Cat Woman’s daughter has
grown up to become Little Red Ridinghood! A small but determined group of
terrorists is making plans to overthrow the government. One of the terrorists makes eye contact with
Little Red Ridinghood and they fall instantly in love despite the fact that he
is already being pursued by the much hotter daughter of Borat. Crying ensues.
The terrorists finally make their
move by declaring war on furniture and barricading themselves into their own
residential neighborhood. Despite having
no tactical advantage and having already effectively imprisoned themselves, the
massive French army moves against the terrorists easily defeating them in a
short skirmish. During the battle a young cockney lad is killed. There is no explanation why a young ENGLISH
cockney child is in FRANCE. Borat’s
daughter also gets killed. Generalized crying ensues and it rains.
Wolverine rescues Little Red’s
boyfriend from the battle by crawling through the sewers of Paris all the while
being pursued by the suicidal Copper.
They get away. This makes the Cop sad so he kills himself. Now that his only pursuer is dead Wolverine
decides to go into hiding (sure that makes sense). This makes him sad. He is haunted by the ghost of Cat Woman. She is crying. Ridinghood and boyfriend return
to their life of privilege and get married.
Dad misses the wedding which makes them sad. They go find him just as he dies which makes
everybody sad. Generalized crying and
sadness reigns. Everybody goes and
stands on a big pile of junk and they sing a song.
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