A CARY THANKSGIVING

A Cary Thanksgiving

We’ve all come to Thanksgiving

We are part of the same family

It’s great when we all get together

Unless you have to go pee

With so many there’s bound to be hardships

Our schedules might coincide

I’d take easy on the eggnog

Or you might wish that you were inside

Of the one place that surely unites us

Of the one place we all must go

No it’s not heaven or hell I’m referring to

It’s the bathroom wouldn’tcha know?

Consumption is the order of the day

At a large spread we’ll have a go

But a guy like me

Will have to go pee

Every 45 minutes or so

With so many vying for a spot

At a single drain

We will have to schedule carefully

To avoid an embarrassing stain

On the schedule I will proudly sign

I’ll take my place in the line

On the “family pee tree”

Each one has a special place

Each one - their own special time

I only have the one request

Which I feel I’ve earned

When you make up the schedule

Just don’t make me go

After Uncle LaVern

Or Lyle now that I think of it

I’ve been following him most of my life

And it wasn’t a bed of roses

If you don’t believe me - ask his wife

But I feel that I am digressing

From what has become my central theme

When it comes to matters digesting

You should all listen to me

Act fast when opportunity presents itself

Even if you barely need to go

I’ve seen that look in Steve’s eye before

And believe me - you don’t wanna know

“Get in, get out, get on with it” is the order of the day

We don’t need any lingering

 or a protracted stay

A crossword is out of the question

Sudoku won’t be allowed

Folks, you’re going to have to work with me

We’ve really got quite a large crowd

I’ve worked myself into a lather

I really must learn to calm down

It’s just that I care about you all so much

I want you to have time to sit down

And enjoy your time together

And enjoy your time apart

And enjoy the time when you are alone

And you can finally fart